Lately, I keep coming back to the same thought: the world has become very transactional, and transactional relationships feel empty.
This realization came to me again while trying to book a one-month stay somewhere beautiful. The prices are high, which I understand. Markets change, demand increases, costs go up. That’s not really the issue. The issue is value. When prices go up, value should go up too. If something doubles in price, something else should also double: the service, the experience, the flexibility, the personalization, the care, the feeling of being welcomed, the feeling of being known. Something should feel different.
When nothing changes except the price, it starts to feel transactional. It starts to feel like a number, not a relationship.
And that word, "relationship," is really what this is about.
Because this isn’t just about hotels or condos or travel. This is about life. This is about how we treat each other. This is about how we give, how we receive, and whether those two things are ever in balance.
I’ve spent a lot of my life giving. Key word: spent. Giving time, giving energy, giving care, giving insight, giving words, giving support, giving presence, and giving money. Sometimes I was paid in return, and many times, not. Sometimes the payment was a thank you. Sometimes it was silence. Sometimes it was nothing at all.
And yet, I kept giving because I wasn’t giving from a place of transaction. I was giving from a place of love. From a place of service. From a place of wanting to contribute something meaningful to the world.
But there is a truth that many people who serve eventually run into:
Giving without receiving eventually creates an imbalance, even for the most generous heart.
The thing is, I am not interested in squeezing every dollar out of someone just to make a point. I am not interested in becoming hard or calculating or treating people like numbers. That doesn’t feel good to me.
I want to live in a world where value is felt, not just calculated.
Where people say, “You know what, she’s staying a month, let’s take care of her.”
Where people say, “You’ve been a loyal guest, we appreciate that.”
Where people say, “You’ve helped people, you’ve shared, you’ve given, and we see that.”
Not because they have to. Because they want to.
That’s the difference between a transactional world and a relational world.
In a transactional world, the question is:
“What can I get from you?”
In a relational world, the question is:
“How can this work for both of us?”
That is the world I want to live in. That is the world I want to help create. Whether it’s through my writing, my podcast, my travel work, or simply how I treat the person in front of me.
And maybe the hardest part of all of this is that sometimes you don’t see the impact you’re making. People don’t always write to tell you that something you said helped them. They don’t always comment. They don’t always say thank you. Sometimes your words fall into what feels like silence.
But silence does not always mean deaf ears.
Like a drop in the ocean that ripples throughout the sea.
Sometimes it means quiet impact.
Sometimes it means someone read your words at exactly the right moment and it changed something for them, and you will never know.
So maybe the lesson in all of this, in travel, in work, and in life, is this:
Value is not just a number.
Value is how something makes you feel.
Value is whether there is care on the other side of the transaction.
Value is whether there is human heart relating, not just exchange.
And I still believe, even in a very transactional world, that there are people and places that understand that. You just have to find them. And when you do, you don’t feel like a customer, an outsider, or alone.
You feel like you belong.
This post was a follow-up to a previous reflection When Gratitude Becomes Transactional.
I keep coming back to the same question: How can I help create a world I want to live in? How can we be more human about the cost of things and services? How can we build a life filled with love while still creating something sustainable?
If you have ideas, or if this resonates with you and you want to collaborate on something meaningful, I would love to hear from you.
’Til next time,
Thank you for showing up, being the best you can be, and loving from your heart whenever you can.
Lisa Eve