How to recognize the body’s signals and step away from patterns of abuse.
How many times do we walk back into the fire, hoping this time will be different? With family, friends, or even in business, it’s easy to fall into the cycle of showing up with love and openness, only to be met with disregard, dismissal, or abuse. The heart hopes, the body braces, and the pattern repeats.
Often the signs are there in our bodies before we even notice them in our minds. Maybe it’s the small ways we hurt ourselves without realizing: stubbing a toe, walking into a wall or another person, bumping, flicking, pressing too hard, and unintentionally causing pain. Sometimes it shows up in ways we don’t even think of as harm; like holding your pee on an airplane just to prove you can, or not going to the bathroom because you feel embarrassed. Or knowing you need to eat and telling yourself, I’ll do it after this errand, after the meeting… until “after” becomes skipping a meal and running on fumes. And of course, something that has become too prevalent in our society is working until we are completely burnt out.
These are small (and big) ways we override the body’s natural signals, choosing discomfort over presence. These are signals that maybe we had a negative thought about ourselves, and had an instant manifestation of such. Next time this happens, ask yourself, what were you just thinking about or feeling? The body reflects what the spirit already knows: something is not safe here. Yet so many of us ignore those signals, choosing to walk back into situations that burn, hoping this time love will be different.
The truth is, no one deserves to be met with cruelty when all they’re offering is kindness. If people truly care, they show it. They call. They apologize. They take responsibility for their words and actions. When those things aren’t happening, it’s not a reflection of our worth; it’s a reflection of their capacity. And, we are all learning at different stages of our evolution. So, you may continue to encounter young souls that do not know what accountability is, and exist mostly in ego. This doesn't make them "bad," just a teacher on your path.
But how do we reconcile when we've been abused, that it wasn't the abusers fault, and was our own for not choosing to acknowledge the signs in the first place? If we are responsible for our lives, and all of our choices, we are truly NEVER the victim, and always just learning how to love ourselves, better.
These patterns show up in families, in business, in friendships, and even in customer service interactions. Sometimes the old world of ego, disregard, and lack of integrity is revealed so clearly that the question becomes unavoidable: Do I want to keep engaging with this?
Walking away may not be easy, and we often stay just to prove a point, yet letting go is sometimes necessary to stay alive. Healing begins when we stop ignoring the abuse just to fit in, and start choosing relationships, communities, and spaces where kindness, care, and respect are the norm.
The body is always speaking. The pain always signals. Your higher self is always guiding. The invitation is simple: listen. Step out of the fire. Walk toward the new.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, especially if it resonated. I just want you to know, you are not alone. You got this. You are worthy. Loving yourself will always feel better than returning to the fire.
Until next time, keep listening, keep choosing, and keep loving yourself.
Written with love,
Lisa Eve
